Morty's View

Mortgage Rates

mortybenson — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 18:09:28 +0000

Last update: 11/10/11

Institutions	6	1	2	3	4	5
	Mths	Yr	Yrs	Yrs	Yrs	Yrs
AGF TRUST	n/a	3.04	3.2	3.24	3.39	3.54
ALTERNA SVGS/ALTERNA BK	4	3.05	3.3	3.55	3.55	3.6
ATB FINANCIAL	4.45	3.5	3.85	4.05	4.79	4.09
BANK OF MONTREAL	4.45	3.5	3.85	4.05	3.19	3.69
BANK OF NOVA SCOTIA	4.55	4.3	3.89	4.39	4.79	5.29
BANK WEST	n/a	5.25	5.5	5.75	6	6.5
CAISSES DESJARDINS	n/a	3.49	3.85	4.05	4.79	5.29
CANADIAN DIRECT FINANCIAL	n/a	3.19	3.55	3.65	3.69	3.99
CANADIAN WESTERN BANK	4.45	3.5	3.85	4.05	4.79	5.29
CANADIAN WESTERN TRUST	4.45	3.5	3.85	4.05	4.79	5.29
CIBC	n/a	3.5	3.85	3.19	4.39	3.94
COAST CAPITAL SAVINGS CU	4.45	2.8	3.35	3.35	3.19	3.45
COMMUNITY TRUST	4.45	3.5	3.85	4.05	4.99	5.29
COMTECH CREDIT UNION	6.6	2.99	3.25	3.29	3.4	3.59
CONCENTRA FINANCIAL	4.45	3.5	3.85	4.05	4.79	5.29
DUCA FIN. SERVICE C.U.	4.4	3.08	3.28	3.28	3.48	3.58
EFFORT TRUST	4.45	3.45	3.8	4	4.75	5.25
EQUITABLE TRUST	n/a	3.5	3.85	4.05	4.79	5.29
FIRST CALGARY FINANCIAL	4.45	2.39	3.85	3.39	3.39	3.49
FIRST NATIONAL FIN. LP	4.45	3.09	3.25	3.4	3.49	3.59
FIRSTLINE MORTGAGES	n/a	n/a	3.49	3.59	3.84	3.89
FIRSTONTARIO C.U.	n/a	3.24	3.48	3.48	3.48	3.45
HOME TRUST COMPANY	n/a	2.99	2.99	3.19	3.49	3.49
HSBC BANK CANADA	4.45	3.6	3.95	4.45	4.99	5.39
ICICI BANK CANADA	n/a	3.15	3.65	3.64	3.69	3.69
ING DIRECT	n/a	3.09	3.25	3.29	3.49	3.45
INVESTORS GROUP TRUST	4.55	3.5	3.85	4.05	4.79	5.29
ITALIAN CDN. SAVINGS C.U.	n/a	3.55	3.8	4	4.45	3.89
LAURENTIAN BANK	4.4	3.19	3.85	4.05	4.79	4.09
MANULIFE BANK	n/a	3	3.25	3.5	3.55	3.59
MCAP	n/a	3.6	3.95	4.35	4.89	5.29
MERIDIAN CREDIT UNION	4.45	3.5	3.85	4.35	3.4	3.48
MRS TRUST	2.75	3	3.4	3.9	4.05	4.1
NATIONAL BANK	4.45	3.5	3.85	4.05	4.79	5.29
ONTARIO CIVIL SERVICE C.U.	n/a	2.99	4.2	3.49	4.6	3.69
PACE SAVINGS & C.U.	4.45	3.5	3.85	4.05	4.79	5.29
PARAMA CREDIT UNION	n/a	2.9	3.25	3.3	3.5	3.75
PRESIDENT’S CHOICE FINAN	n/a	n/a	3.3	3.34	3.54	3.64
RESMOR TRUST COMPANY	n/a	4.09	n/a	3.64	n/a	3.54
ROYAL BANK	4.05	3.2	3.85	4.05	4.79	4.09
STEINBACH CREDIT UNION	n/a	2.6	3.1	3.5	3.6	3.7
TD CANADA TRUST	n/a	3.19	3.3	4.05	4.79	4.09
TEACHERS CREDIT UNION	4.45	3.29	3.69	3.79	3.99	4.09
Last update: 11/12/15

For Sale

mortybenson — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 19:19:42 +0000

Institutions	6	1	2	3	4	5
	Mths	Yr	Yrs	Yrs	Yrs	Yrs
AGF TRUST	n/a	3.04	3.40	3.40	3.54	3.59
ALTERNA SVGS/ALTERNA BK	4.40	3.09	3.60	3.69	3.75	3.79
ATB FINANCIAL	4.45	3.50	3.85	4.35	4.99	4.09
BANK OF MONTREAL	4.45	3.50	3.85	4.35	4.14	3.79
BANK OF NOVA SCOTIA	4.55	4.30	3.95	4.55	4.99	5.39
BANK WEST	n/a	5.25	5.50	5.75	6.00	6.50
CAISSES DESJARDINS	n/a	3.49	3.85	4.35	4.99	5.39
CANADIAN DIRECT FINANCIAL	n/a	3.19	3.55	3.65	3.69	3.89
CANADIAN WESTERN BANK	4.45	3.50	3.85	4.35	4.99	5.39
CANADIAN WESTERN TRUST	4.45	3.50	3.85	4.35	4.99	5.39
CIBC	n/a	3.50	3.85	4.35	3.89	4.04
COAST CAPITAL SAVINGS CU	4.45	2.80	3.35	3.50	3.60	3.65
COMMUNITY TRUST	4.45	3.50	3.85	4.35	4.99	5.39
COMTECH CREDIT UNION	6.60	3.09	3.49	3.79	3.75	3.84
CONCENTRA FINANCIAL	4.45	3.50	3.85	4.35	4.99	5.39
DUCA FIN. SERVICE C.U.	4.45	3.20	3.50	3.70	3.70	3.80
EFFORT TRUST	4.45	3.45	3.80	4.30	4.95	5.35
EQUITABLE TRUST	n/a	3.50	3.85	4.35	4.99	5.39
FIRST CALGARY FINANCIAL	4.45	2.39	3.85	3.69	3.89	3.49
FIRST NATIONAL FIN. LP	4.45	3.09	3.40	3.65	3.69	3.79
FIRSTLINE MORTGAGES	n/a	n/a	3.80	3.99	3.99	3.99
FIRSTONTARIO C.U.	n/a	3.24	3.64	3.79	3.79	3.79
HOME TRUST COMPANY	n/a	2.99	2.99	3.65	3.79	3.69
HSBC BANK CANADA	4.45	3.60	3.95	4.45	4.99	5.39
ICICI BANK CANADA	n/a	3.15	3.65	3.64	3.69	3.69
ING DIRECT	n/a	3.09	3.25	3.29	3.49	3.69
INVESTORS GROUP TRUST	4.55	3.50	3.85	4.35	4.99	5.39
ITALIAN CDN. SAVINGS C.U.	n/a	3.70	4.05	4.55	5.19	4.09
LAURENTIAN BANK	4.40	3.19	3.85	4.35	4.99	4.14
MANULIFE BANK	n/a	3.00	3.45	3.65	3.70	3.68
MCAP	n/a	3.60	3.95	4.35	4.89	5.39
MERIDIAN CREDIT UNION	4.45	3.50	3.85	4.35	3.75	3.78
MRS TRUST	2.75	3.00	3.40	3.90	4.25	4.30
NATIONAL BANK	4.45	3.50	3.85	4.35	4.99	5.39
ONTARIO CIVIL SERVICE C.U.	n/a	2.95	4.20	3.94	4.60	3.89
PACE SAVINGS & C.U.	4.45	3.50	3.85	4.35	4.99	5.39
PARAMA CREDIT UNION	n/a	3.20	3.50	3.70	3.80	4.00
PRESIDENT’S CHOICE FINAN	n/a	n/a	3.60	3.74	3.74	3.94
RESMOR TRUST COMPANY	n/a	4.09	n/a	3.94	n/a	3.69
ROYAL BANK	4.05	3.20	3.85	4.35	3.99	4.24
STEINBACH CREDIT UNION	n/a	2.65	3.15	3.65	3.75	3.85
TD CANADA TRUST	n/a	3.19	3.45	4.35	4.09	4.19
Last update: 11/08/24

What if God was an accountant?

mortybenson — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 15:30:35 +0000

Have you ever wondered what the FAQ board would look like if God was an accountant?

Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life?

A: No, which is why there is one hell of an audit before you get to go through the Pearly Gates.

Q: Why does God allow evil to happen?

A: Because good also happens; for every debit there must be a credit.

Q: Does God know everything?

A: God knows everything except how to calculate the intangible value portion of internationally consolidated derivative financial instruments backed by projected earnings of emerging economy-based corporations headquartered in quasi-sovereign city-states. (And yes, God knew you were going to ask this question)

Q: What causes God to intervene in earthly affairs?

A: The Office of God receives daily exception reports which are generated by the eco-system automatically. His staff of Angels review them every morning and if there’s something they can’t handle they bring it to His attention.

Q: Did God really create the world in seven days?

A: He did it in six days using an abacus and a 14 column pad. On the seventh day He rubbed His eyes and said “Let there be Excel.”

Q: Will there be another Universe after the Big Bang?

A: God will have to wait for all the figures to come in (which could be a couple of billion years after the Big Bang), crunch out the bottom line and then He’ll decide whether it’s worth investing in again.

Q: Who is Satan?

A: Satan is the guy who DOES know how to calculate the intangible value portion of. . In other words what you suspected all along: Satan is a pencil—necked geek with a really complicated spreadsheet and a head the size of Purgatory.

Q: Where will I go after I die?

A: You will be moved from current assets to the deadbeats account.

Q: Will I be reincarnated?

A: Don’t count on it. God hates to make prior period adjustments.

Q: Am I unique and special in the universe?

A: Yes you are. Every individual that comes into the world is loved by God and given a unique account number. God realizes this seems impersonal but you try keeping track of 30 billion souls (even with a staff of 10,000 Angels).

Q: Why don’t we see God at work?

A: God obviously deals with the “Big Picture”. Just because you don’t see him tapping away on a computer keyboard or sorting through files doesn’t mean He’s not working.

English is official language of the German army

mortybenson — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 20:23:43 +0000

Have you noticed when watching a movie set during the second World War, that German soldiers all speak English, not only to Allied troops, but with each other? Wouldn’t you think that they should logically be shown speaking German, with English sub titles for the audience, or because the movie is filmed in English, they’ll simply speak English (when they would actually be speaking German) to avoid the use of sub titles.

Right; so because it’s an English language movie, the Germans will simply speak English for the understanding of the audience. So why are they then speaking English with a German accent? Why is that?

Go for Gold

mortybenson — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 13:54:35 +0000

The official opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics began this morning. One of my favourite Olympic events has always been the 100 meter sprint. The champion of this event is usually recognized unofficially as the “World’s Fastest Man.”

Given that the difference between winning gold and being an also-ran is literally a matter of fractions of a second, competitors try to get every little edge that they can; high-tech light weight shoes, streamlined racing outfits, shaved heads to minimize air resistance, etc, etc. Every gram and crinkle could make the difference, don’t you know? So after going through all that trouble, why do you see some runners then slap on a gold chain? Why is that?

Top 10 advantages of working in a cubicle

mortybenson — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 18:51:28 +0000

Hearing voices without seeing anyone prepares you for the next stage after cubicle life: the asylum!
No real walls = No blocked energy = Great feng shui.
One karaoke machine is sufficient for the enjoyment of all 275 cubicles on the floor.
When you finally collapse, co-workers can easily tear off a wall panel to use for a stretcher.
No more fumbling with hammers, nails, hooks, wire & stud sensors to hang up artwork. All you need are push pins.
No need to involve facilities management to re-arrange your office. All you need are push pins.
You’ll be pleasantly surprised at how much a 1976 wall panel will fetch at the Antiques Road Show.
No need to worry about super heroes suddenly crashing through your window in the middle of updating your spreadsheet.
Should my door be open or closed? One less decision to complicate your life.
The thrill of anticipation; as you wait for that piece of cheese to drop onto your lap.

Top 10 signs that your computer is too old

mortybenson — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:56:06 +0000

Instead of a monitor, it came with a piano and a black and white movie projector
No power cord, but cooling system does include palm leaves, bamboo shafts and 2 Babylonian slaves.
Last time its software was patched was to fix the ‘Y1K’ bug.
Printer only works on wet clay tablets.
So expensive compared to today’s prices. Imagine! it cost 4 heads of cattle and 19 jars of olive oil!
Bright warning label affixed to the computer: “Caution. Do not operate in the presence of Spanish Inquisitor“
Installation disk runs at both 33 1/3 and 78 (for backwards compatibility).
Running on your neighbour’s computer: search engine. RUNNING your computer: steam engine.
Owner’s manual actually states “this model not designed to work with modems since the telephone has not yet been invented.”
Prediction that the entire world will need a total of only 5 of these things was way too optimistic